As L-Day approaches, I'm starting to feel some anxiety. The anxiety isn't around the labor itself. Nine months ago, if you'd asked me, I would've said that I was terrified of going into labor. Nowadays, I think that I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I guess nobody is ever truly ready. That being said, the combination of my pre-natal exercise class discussions and the HypnoBirthing class have put me much more at ease about this whole labor thing. My fears right now are broken down into main parts: pre-delivery, and post-delivery.
On the pre-delivery side of things, my biggest fear is of delivering a stillborn child. It's a terribly morbid thought, but it's always crossing my mind, especially as I get closer and closer to delivering. What if PK is okay one minute, but not okay the next? What if the umbilical cord gets tangled around her neck? Even as I write this, these very thoughts make me cringe. I also worry about all of the coughing and sneezing fits that I've had over the last couple of days. It's one thing to have been coughing in January/February, when PK was surrounded by a thick cushion of amniotic fluid. Even when I had my April/May allergies, she had a pretty nice cushion. Now things are crowded in utero, so whenever I sneeze or cough, I worry about hurting her.
For post-delivery, I wonder what type of baby PK will be. Every parent hopes for a healthy child. But what if the delivery itself causes her harm - brain damage, physical deformation, or something else that I can't even fathom. Or what if PK has a congenital defect, or some sort of developmental disability? How would I deal with that? I truly admire parents of special-needs children. They are truly brave and loving souls. Would I ever step up like these parents were I placed in a similar situation? My honest answer is that I don't know, and that scares me. I hope I would. At the same time, I don't want to find out. Does that make me a bad person?
I know that these are all "what ifs", and but they're out there. If they don't affect PK, they will affect some other kid out there. It's a scary world out there, and I don't blame PK for wanting to hang out in utero for a little while longer.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Getting Closer!
This evening I was greeted by some blood after I went to the washroom. I thought I had already passed my mucus plug, but maybe that was some preliminary goop. This discharge was goopy but it was more red-tinged than the previous one. The previous one was more browny than red.
I've never gone into labor before, so I obviously don't know what to expect. Books are fine, but the real deal is always different for everyone. I called my sis for some insight/advice, but unfortunately she hasn't gotten to that part in her medical training. Next, the hubby and I consulted our various baby books for signs of labor. From what we've read, the the bleeding I was experienced may very well have been the bloody show (I think that the mucus plug/bloody show are pretty much the same thing). It wasn't heavier than a period, but it reminded me of the very early stages of a period.
I'm not seeing the doctor until tomorrow afternoon, but I think I might give him a ring tomorrow morning just to check. PK seems to be moving about, and the bleeding appears to have subsided. I guess all this just means that PK is on her way out soon!
I've never gone into labor before, so I obviously don't know what to expect. Books are fine, but the real deal is always different for everyone. I called my sis for some insight/advice, but unfortunately she hasn't gotten to that part in her medical training. Next, the hubby and I consulted our various baby books for signs of labor. From what we've read, the the bleeding I was experienced may very well have been the bloody show (I think that the mucus plug/bloody show are pretty much the same thing). It wasn't heavier than a period, but it reminded me of the very early stages of a period.
I'm not seeing the doctor until tomorrow afternoon, but I think I might give him a ring tomorrow morning just to check. PK seems to be moving about, and the bleeding appears to have subsided. I guess all this just means that PK is on her way out soon!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Week 39
I've still got about half a week until PK is officially due, but just in case she happens to come before then, I thought I'd get a jump-start on the update for this week of gestation.
I have to admit that I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, I really want PK to come out. I'm so curious to see what she looks like and who she resembles the most. On the other hand, it has been nice to enjoy these last few days off to myself and with the hubby. It has been good to say goodbye to the old lifestyle without PK, and to start getting used to the thought of having a new lifestyle with PK. Not only that, this extra time to myself has allowed me to read some of my baby books so that I know what to expect post-partum. The two books I'm currently reading are The Mother of all Baby Books and The Happiest Baby on the Block. The first book starts off by talking about the last few weeks of pregnancy, and then talks about the post-partum period, including how to change diapers, breast-feeding, and caring for the baby's umbilical cord stump. The second book is all about the so-called "fourth trimester" and how to keep fussy, colicky babies happy. That fills me with confidence, because at least I know that there are proven techniques out there for dealing with colicky babies, so hopefully I won't have to fret as much if PK ends up being such a baby.
While I do think that I will miss PK's kicking and squirming (it is still my absolute favorite thing about pregnancy), I will most certainly not miss the lack of mobility that I have these days. While I think I've managed to avoid the dreaded pregnancy waddle (either that, or I'm totally delusional), it has been extra-hard for me to do the following things:
- shave my legs
- cut my toenails
- sleep for more than 2 hours at a time without having to get up to pee
- tie my shoes
- put moisturizer and/or sunscreen on my legs
Apart from getting up to pee every 2 hours at night (can't be helped), I'm still managing with all of the other items above - it's just getting difficult, and I have to get pretty creative. For example, when I tie my running shoes, I find that it's easiest to do a nice wide squat (like one of the recommended labor positions).
Sleep, or lack thereof, has probably been the biggest inconvenience of all. For months I was worried about the fact that I kept waking up on my back, even though all of the pregnancy books tell you that you're not supposed to be lying flat on your back after month 4 or 5 (or something along those lines). I mentioned this to my doctor, and he told me not to worry. He said that the body naturally feels so uncomfortable when you're on your back later on in pregnancy, that I will likely stop waking up on my back at some point. Well, it took a while, but he was right. I think that sometime between 7.5 and 8 months, it finally hit me. There was NO WAY I could wake up on my back or even lie on my back propped up by two pillows because it felt REALLY REALLY uncomfortable. Ah, nature at work!
Even lying on my side is proving to be really uncomfortable. Last night, I couldn't fall asleep on my left or right side because I was having trouble breathing. So I propped myself upright with 3 pillows just so I could fall asleep. When I CAN fall asleep on my sides, I have to constantly switch sides, because my hips are in so much pain. I hear that it's best to sleep on your left while pregnant, so I try to do that, but I'm finding it really difficult to do so nowadays because lying on my left side is aggravating an old shoulder injury from climbing.
Since I'm getting such crappy sleep, my body makes up for it by forcing me to nap during the day or in the evening. I say force because I'm not a napper by nature. Yesterday, for example, we were running a few errands before going grocery shopping. On the way over to the supermarket, I told the hubby that I needed to sit down because I was feeling a bit tired. Next thing I know, I'm sitting there in the middle of this mall, with my head leaning against his shoulder, taking a nap. I think I was out for 20 or 30 minutes. Later that same evening, I sat down to read a book, and zonked out after reading 4 or 5 pages. I only woke up because my sister called me to say hello. That same evening, I was sitting in bed reading, and fell asleep after 4 or 5 pages. The thing is, I feel most refreshed after I take these naps, so I try to embrace them, rather than resist them.
One thing I've found rather amusing in the last few weeks is the timing of when people would like PK to make her world début. I wanted at least 1 week off before PK came out. That way I could tie up loose ends and have some time off to myself - not to mention enjoy my kitchen! The hubby wants PK to come out sometime tomorrow. That way we had the long weekend to ourselves, and he'd take 3 weeks off from work starting on Tuesday, and returning sometime after Labor Day (the September holiday, not MY labor day :P). My sister wanted PK to come this weekend, because she was in town and would be able to stick around for the birth. Next weekend is no good for her because she's on-call for her obstetrics rotation. Plus she goes to school out-of-town and it would take her a couple of hours give or take to make it over here. So since apparently I'm taking orders, when would you like PK to come out?
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. It was shifted to Tuesday because of the long weekend, so I suspect that he'll be an hour late to see me. I'm thinking of asking him to do another cervical exam to see if I've dilated at all since last time. From what my sis tells me, I shouldn't expect the doctor to check my cervix this week, though a lot of women in my position ask for it, if they want to avoid being induced. I'm also going to ask him about my suspicions of having passed my mucus plug. I'm pretty sure that I did pass it, and that it's not left-over discharge related to last week's cervical exam. That bleeding/discharge had subsided a few days earlier. I think at this point I may refrain from doing the perineal massages, just in case the mucus plug did pass. I know that PK is still protected by amniotic fluid, but just in case I'm leaking fluid and I don't know it, I don't want to take any chances, especially since I'm GBS-positive (bleh).
Rather than subway up like we usually do, we're thinking of driving up to the doctor's office tomorrow, just in case I'm actually dilated enough to the point where he'd recommend that I check myself into the hospital. My bags are now fully-packed (or at least packed enough), so we'd be prepared just in case.
On a more annoying note, the cold that started last week has morphed into a coughing, sneezing, and stuffy nose fest. I was hoping that it would subside by tomorrow, since will make it a week to the day of when my sore throat started, but I think it may be another week until it's completely gone. It seems to be progressing very very slowly, and it certainly doesn't help with my sleep situation.
And finally, PK still continue to move a fair bit in utero. Sometimes I feel like she's not quite as active as she used to be, which makes me worry. That being said, all of the literature out there says that babies seem to move less later into gestation because there's less room in the uterus. I don't find that particularly comforting, since I'm so used to her moving a lot. Sometimes when I don't feel her moving, I like to coax her into moving by either doing some pelvic floor exercises or leaning forward. That usually gets her moving. I don't think that she find that particularly disruptive, since I usually only get a foot jab from her out of that. Good enough for me. I just want to know that she's okay in there.
Whew! That was a mouthful! The race is on! Only 3 more days until I'm due. Will I be one of the 5% of women who actually has their baby on their due date? Will PK come just before? Will PK come just after? Will PK need to be induced? Stay tuned!
I have to admit that I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, I really want PK to come out. I'm so curious to see what she looks like and who she resembles the most. On the other hand, it has been nice to enjoy these last few days off to myself and with the hubby. It has been good to say goodbye to the old lifestyle without PK, and to start getting used to the thought of having a new lifestyle with PK. Not only that, this extra time to myself has allowed me to read some of my baby books so that I know what to expect post-partum. The two books I'm currently reading are The Mother of all Baby Books and The Happiest Baby on the Block. The first book starts off by talking about the last few weeks of pregnancy, and then talks about the post-partum period, including how to change diapers, breast-feeding, and caring for the baby's umbilical cord stump. The second book is all about the so-called "fourth trimester" and how to keep fussy, colicky babies happy. That fills me with confidence, because at least I know that there are proven techniques out there for dealing with colicky babies, so hopefully I won't have to fret as much if PK ends up being such a baby.
While I do think that I will miss PK's kicking and squirming (it is still my absolute favorite thing about pregnancy), I will most certainly not miss the lack of mobility that I have these days. While I think I've managed to avoid the dreaded pregnancy waddle (either that, or I'm totally delusional), it has been extra-hard for me to do the following things:
- shave my legs
- cut my toenails
- sleep for more than 2 hours at a time without having to get up to pee
- tie my shoes
- put moisturizer and/or sunscreen on my legs
Apart from getting up to pee every 2 hours at night (can't be helped), I'm still managing with all of the other items above - it's just getting difficult, and I have to get pretty creative. For example, when I tie my running shoes, I find that it's easiest to do a nice wide squat (like one of the recommended labor positions).
Sleep, or lack thereof, has probably been the biggest inconvenience of all. For months I was worried about the fact that I kept waking up on my back, even though all of the pregnancy books tell you that you're not supposed to be lying flat on your back after month 4 or 5 (or something along those lines). I mentioned this to my doctor, and he told me not to worry. He said that the body naturally feels so uncomfortable when you're on your back later on in pregnancy, that I will likely stop waking up on my back at some point. Well, it took a while, but he was right. I think that sometime between 7.5 and 8 months, it finally hit me. There was NO WAY I could wake up on my back or even lie on my back propped up by two pillows because it felt REALLY REALLY uncomfortable. Ah, nature at work!
Even lying on my side is proving to be really uncomfortable. Last night, I couldn't fall asleep on my left or right side because I was having trouble breathing. So I propped myself upright with 3 pillows just so I could fall asleep. When I CAN fall asleep on my sides, I have to constantly switch sides, because my hips are in so much pain. I hear that it's best to sleep on your left while pregnant, so I try to do that, but I'm finding it really difficult to do so nowadays because lying on my left side is aggravating an old shoulder injury from climbing.
Since I'm getting such crappy sleep, my body makes up for it by forcing me to nap during the day or in the evening. I say force because I'm not a napper by nature. Yesterday, for example, we were running a few errands before going grocery shopping. On the way over to the supermarket, I told the hubby that I needed to sit down because I was feeling a bit tired. Next thing I know, I'm sitting there in the middle of this mall, with my head leaning against his shoulder, taking a nap. I think I was out for 20 or 30 minutes. Later that same evening, I sat down to read a book, and zonked out after reading 4 or 5 pages. I only woke up because my sister called me to say hello. That same evening, I was sitting in bed reading, and fell asleep after 4 or 5 pages. The thing is, I feel most refreshed after I take these naps, so I try to embrace them, rather than resist them.
One thing I've found rather amusing in the last few weeks is the timing of when people would like PK to make her world début. I wanted at least 1 week off before PK came out. That way I could tie up loose ends and have some time off to myself - not to mention enjoy my kitchen! The hubby wants PK to come out sometime tomorrow. That way we had the long weekend to ourselves, and he'd take 3 weeks off from work starting on Tuesday, and returning sometime after Labor Day (the September holiday, not MY labor day :P). My sister wanted PK to come this weekend, because she was in town and would be able to stick around for the birth. Next weekend is no good for her because she's on-call for her obstetrics rotation. Plus she goes to school out-of-town and it would take her a couple of hours give or take to make it over here. So since apparently I'm taking orders, when would you like PK to come out?
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. It was shifted to Tuesday because of the long weekend, so I suspect that he'll be an hour late to see me. I'm thinking of asking him to do another cervical exam to see if I've dilated at all since last time. From what my sis tells me, I shouldn't expect the doctor to check my cervix this week, though a lot of women in my position ask for it, if they want to avoid being induced. I'm also going to ask him about my suspicions of having passed my mucus plug. I'm pretty sure that I did pass it, and that it's not left-over discharge related to last week's cervical exam. That bleeding/discharge had subsided a few days earlier. I think at this point I may refrain from doing the perineal massages, just in case the mucus plug did pass. I know that PK is still protected by amniotic fluid, but just in case I'm leaking fluid and I don't know it, I don't want to take any chances, especially since I'm GBS-positive (bleh).
Rather than subway up like we usually do, we're thinking of driving up to the doctor's office tomorrow, just in case I'm actually dilated enough to the point where he'd recommend that I check myself into the hospital. My bags are now fully-packed (or at least packed enough), so we'd be prepared just in case.
On a more annoying note, the cold that started last week has morphed into a coughing, sneezing, and stuffy nose fest. I was hoping that it would subside by tomorrow, since will make it a week to the day of when my sore throat started, but I think it may be another week until it's completely gone. It seems to be progressing very very slowly, and it certainly doesn't help with my sleep situation.
And finally, PK still continue to move a fair bit in utero. Sometimes I feel like she's not quite as active as she used to be, which makes me worry. That being said, all of the literature out there says that babies seem to move less later into gestation because there's less room in the uterus. I don't find that particularly comforting, since I'm so used to her moving a lot. Sometimes when I don't feel her moving, I like to coax her into moving by either doing some pelvic floor exercises or leaning forward. That usually gets her moving. I don't think that she find that particularly disruptive, since I usually only get a foot jab from her out of that. Good enough for me. I just want to know that she's okay in there.
Whew! That was a mouthful! The race is on! Only 3 more days until I'm due. Will I be one of the 5% of women who actually has their baby on their due date? Will PK come just before? Will PK come just after? Will PK need to be induced? Stay tuned!
Hurry Up and Wait
I have 3 days until my due date, yet PK is still sitting pretty comfortably in my womb. They (whoever "they" are) say that walking and going up stairs can help induce labor. In my case, I don't think that that's going to work. I've got a ton of stairs in my house (each room is on its own floor), and I walk A LOT as part of my exercise routine. PK is too used to my moving about, so no amount of walking or stair climbing I do will coax her out of her comfy little coccoon!
Now, even though PK has not yet arrived, I do think that we're fast approaching L-Day. First off, she has dropped since last Monday. I didn't find PK's drop as dramatic as everyone says it is, where all of a sudden you've been released from your squished-up-lung prison, and eating is no longer an indigestion-laden ordeal. I did have have trouble breathing, which I noticed mostly when I worked out, walked, or went up stairs, but it wasn't THAT bad. Also, I didn't really have that much indigestion. I was pretty much able to eat the same portions that I did before PK started squishing my innards.
All that aside, she DID drop. My belly now looks pear-shaped, and the trouble breathing I had seems to have gone away. I just didn't feel like it was that dramatic a change. Maybe it's because PK moved down slowly.
I've also noticed that the Braxton-Hicks contractions are more frequent and more powerful. That being said, there's no set pattern to them, so I know it's not time just yet.
And finally - and I'm not 100% sure on this one - I think I passed my mucus plug this morning. I'll probably confirm that with my doctor when I see him tomorrow. This means that labor can start anytime between sometime today, and sometime in the next few days. No kidding...
Now, even though PK has not yet arrived, I do think that we're fast approaching L-Day. First off, she has dropped since last Monday. I didn't find PK's drop as dramatic as everyone says it is, where all of a sudden you've been released from your squished-up-lung prison, and eating is no longer an indigestion-laden ordeal. I did have have trouble breathing, which I noticed mostly when I worked out, walked, or went up stairs, but it wasn't THAT bad. Also, I didn't really have that much indigestion. I was pretty much able to eat the same portions that I did before PK started squishing my innards.
All that aside, she DID drop. My belly now looks pear-shaped, and the trouble breathing I had seems to have gone away. I just didn't feel like it was that dramatic a change. Maybe it's because PK moved down slowly.
I've also noticed that the Braxton-Hicks contractions are more frequent and more powerful. That being said, there's no set pattern to them, so I know it's not time just yet.
And finally - and I'm not 100% sure on this one - I think I passed my mucus plug this morning. I'll probably confirm that with my doctor when I see him tomorrow. This means that labor can start anytime between sometime today, and sometime in the next few days. No kidding...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Grrrrrrrrrrr...
Yesterday I was feeling a slight tingling in my throat, and today I've got a full-on sore throat. Not exactly what I had in mind for the days leading up to PK's arrival. Naturally, I'm not too pleased by the entire situation. For one thing, I HATE HATE HATE being sick (I know that I'm in for a rude awakening once PK starts daycare). The other thing is that since I'm pregnant, I can't take anything to relieve my symptoms. I already went through such misery back in January and February, after having caught 3 colds in a row, with the middle cold being the evil of all evils. I'm not exactly looking forward to what this unwanted bug will bring.
Unfortunately, this was bound to happen. Tons of people are sick these days. Not to mention the fact that I had a few day-long meetings last week one of my co-workers who sick kept coughing in my direction. I wish that people would just stay home when they're sick like that. My current workplace isn't like my old workplace where they kept track of how many sick days you took and when during the week it happened. Arrrgh! So aggravating!!!
I'm hoping that maybe I can make this bug go away by flushing out the toxins from my body with lots of water and lots of sweating. Some of my hard-core workout friends swear by this. I definitely have nothing to lose. Right now, my den feels like a furnace so I'm hoping that it's hot enough to sweat this little bug out. I'm trying not to go too far on the sweating thing because I don't want to endanger PK. I just don't want to be sick!!!
Unfortunately, this was bound to happen. Tons of people are sick these days. Not to mention the fact that I had a few day-long meetings last week one of my co-workers who sick kept coughing in my direction. I wish that people would just stay home when they're sick like that. My current workplace isn't like my old workplace where they kept track of how many sick days you took and when during the week it happened. Arrrgh! So aggravating!!!
I'm hoping that maybe I can make this bug go away by flushing out the toxins from my body with lots of water and lots of sweating. Some of my hard-core workout friends swear by this. I definitely have nothing to lose. Right now, my den feels like a furnace so I'm hoping that it's hot enough to sweat this little bug out. I'm trying not to go too far on the sweating thing because I don't want to endanger PK. I just don't want to be sick!!!
You Know You're Almost Due When... - Part 2
Second-time moms have told me that one of the most annoying questions they get close to their due date is whether or not the baby has arrived yet. The rumors really start flying if the expectant mom suddenly disappears.
In my case, since I'm on mat-leave, I didn't want people to start thinking that PK had arrived yet because they didn't see me online as often anymore. Sure, I log on for a bit here and there, but I'm no longer glued to the computer. Naturally the rumors would start flying, especially if people didn't know that I was already on mat-leave. In order to keep such rumors from spreading, the first thing I did once I finished work last Friday was to update my status on Facebook, GTalk, and MSN Instant Messenger: "mat-leave = yes, baby = not yet". So unless my status changes on any of these three media, it's safe to assume that PK is still nicely tucked away in the womb, enjoying her last few days before joining the real world. :)
In my case, since I'm on mat-leave, I didn't want people to start thinking that PK had arrived yet because they didn't see me online as often anymore. Sure, I log on for a bit here and there, but I'm no longer glued to the computer. Naturally the rumors would start flying, especially if people didn't know that I was already on mat-leave. In order to keep such rumors from spreading, the first thing I did once I finished work last Friday was to update my status on Facebook, GTalk, and MSN Instant Messenger: "mat-leave = yes, baby = not yet". So unless my status changes on any of these three media, it's safe to assume that PK is still nicely tucked away in the womb, enjoying her last few days before joining the real world. :)
You Know You're Almost Due When...
Yesterday I was at Ikea with my mom to buy some chairs to go with the kitchen table that we bought for our new kitchen. You can either blame or curse technology for this, but I was down to two chairs that I liked, so I took pictures of them and mailed them on to the hubby to get his opinion. I also decided to follow that up with a phone call, for a head's up so that we could make a decision quickly.
Of course, I keep forgetting that PK can pop out at any minute now, and that a phone call from me could be the "I'm in labor" call...which is what he thought when he picked up the phone. Apparently he'd been in a meeting and had stepped out because he thought it was time for PK to make her world début. :P
He told me later that when he returned to his meeting, he interrupted the meeting saying something to the effect of, "Yeah, my wife's not in labor. She just wanted me to look at some chairs." Man, do I ever feel domesticated...
BTW, here are the chairs in question. Which one would you pick?
Of course, I keep forgetting that PK can pop out at any minute now, and that a phone call from me could be the "I'm in labor" call...which is what he thought when he picked up the phone. Apparently he'd been in a meeting and had stepped out because he thought it was time for PK to make her world début. :P
He told me later that when he returned to his meeting, he interrupted the meeting saying something to the effect of, "Yeah, my wife's not in labor. She just wanted me to look at some chairs." Man, do I ever feel domesticated...
BTW, here are the chairs in question. Which one would you pick?
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