Week 37

I was totally convinced that PK would be making her world début partway into my 37th week. On the opening night for "The Dark Night", I was sitting in the theater watching the movie like everyone else, when all of a sudden I started getting some major cramping. I dismissed the cramps as Braxton-Hicks initially, but started worrying when they wouldn't stop. Finally, they did. I guess PK wasn't ready to come out just yet. On a similar note, one girl in my aqua-fitness class who was due the same day as me (August 7th) ended up having her baby at 37 weeks on the nose.

As with the past few weekends leading up to PK's due date, we've spent most of our time scrambling around buying odds and ends. One of the things I still had to do was buy some disposable undies for the hospital, seeing as I've read (and have been told) that there is some crazy bleeding that happens post-partum. I was all ready to buy myself a pack of Depends, when I suddenly started feeling all self-conscious and abandoned my mission. That was probably not the smartest thing to do, but as I've said before, I've never claimed to be rational at all times.

On the Monday, I had my usual weekly doctor's appointment. Nothing terribly exciting happened there. PK's head is still in the right spot. Hurray! He told me that the following week, he'd do an internal exam to see if PK's "landing gear" had deployed. That totally cracked me up. It was a nice euphemism for saying he'd check if my cervix was dilated. My sister tells me that when they do these types of exams, it can sometimes trigger the onset of labor, and that if labor does start, it's usually within 24 hours of the exam. I'd considered waiving that exam after she told me this, because my last day at the office was July 25th, and I wanted at least one week to myself before PK arrived. Seeing as my next doctor's appointment is on July 27th, there's a possibility that checking under the hood might trigger labor on the 28th and therefore nix any of my plans for actual time off before PK arrives. After giving it some thought, I think I'll still go ahead with the exam. PK will come out when she's ready. If I go into labor on the 28th, then so be it.

Speaking of mat-leave, I did decide that July 25th would be my last day at the office after all. As I'd mentioned in my last post, I'd tinkered with the idea of working part-time after the 25th, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a hair-brained idea. Who am I kidding. I need some "me time" before PK arrives. Besides, my attention span during meetings has gotten worse, and I am increasingly more tired overall. I've been so tired lately that I skipped out on my pre-natal Yoga class this week. I really wasn't up for the torture workout that I usually get. That being said, I went home and worked out all the same - arm-toning with the TheraBands and leg toning with some fabulous squats. Believe me, that was still a lot less intense than the Yoga class.

On a final note, here's the latest on the kitchen. Counters were installed on Monday (July 21st), so our kitchen finally looks like a kitchen! The plumber also came by that week, to install the sinks and the toilet. As of today, we have a working toilet, but the sinks are half-done. The faucet for the kitchen sink has been installed, and the sink has been mounted (it's an under-mount sink), but the drain for the sink and the dishwasher hasn't been set up yet. I'm a little miffed because the drain was never set up because the sink needed to be glued in place. The plumber didn't come until Wednesday, so they could've mounted the sink before then. Oh well...c'est la vie. The bathroom sink has been put in place, but the faucet wasn't installed because they couldn't remember if the faucet was going to be to the left or right of the sink, so they hadn't drilled the hole for the faucet when the counters were installed. Our cell #s are posted in the front hall, so a simple phone call to ask would've sufficed. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh! We were told that the final plumbing work would be done on Monday, July 28th, at the latest, so hopefully we'll have a working kitchen by then. On the bright side, everything has been cleaned up in the kitchen area, so we were at least able to move our kitchen paraphernalia into the kitchen. Yay!

I just hope that I get to enjoy my working kitchen for a day or two - I've been itching to bake cookies :D - before PK arrives. I guess I'm getting pretty demanding. Enjoying time off, being able to do some baking...all before PK arrives! Will it happen? Only PK knows the answer to that question!

Me at 37 Weeks

Week 36

I have to admit that I was half-expecting to go into labor over the weekend. I was feeling a combination overall ick and this horrid fatigue that I'd never felt before - not even in my first trimester. The Braxton Hicks that I've been feeling also didn't help.

I've been feeling Braxton Hicks on and off since the onset of the third trimester, but I didn't really realize what it was until quite recently. I just figured that they were third trimester cramps, since all of the literature about Braxton Hicks seems to indicate that the symptoms feel like nothing more than a bit of tightening of the uterus. I finally laid that to rest a couple of weeks ago when I asked my doctor about the cramps, and he told me what they were. Even though they're rather uncomfortable I take it all in stride. Whenever I get the cramping, I practice one of the breathing techniques that I learned in my HypnoBirthing classes for dealing with uterine surges (HypnoBirthing term for contractions). It actually makes the pain a lot more bearable and it's great practice for when I actually do go into labor.

I saw the doctor on Monday again (now that my appointments are weekly), and got the results of my GBS swab. Not surprisingly, the test results came out positive. This basically means that I have to come to the hospital at the onset of labor, since they have to administer antibiotics intravenously for at least 4 hours. It's a bit of an inconvenience, I admit, and definitely puts a cramp in birth plan, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

On Monday, the hubby and I went on our hospital tour. I won't bore you with the gory details since I'd already done a nice long post on it. The short of it is that it was useful, and definitely overwhelming in some ways, since it really really made this whole baby thing seem all the more real. At the same time, knowing what to expect at the hospital when I go into labor is hugely comforting.

Speaking of the hospital, I FINALLY got around to packing my suitcase for the hospital on Monday. Well, sort of. I got most of it packed up, but I'm still missing a couple of items here and there. I'm hoping that I can just pick them up on the weekend and be done with it more or less. As long as I don't go into labor before then, I should be just fine. Honestly, my biggest fear right now is going into labor and forgetting the cord blood collection kit that I picked up last week. I can't keep it with my suitcase right now because my bedroom gets really hot during the day and the lady with whom I spoke when I picked up the collection kit said to keep it in a cool place. So right now it's sitting in my basement, while my suitcase sits in my bedroom with a big post-it note reminding me to grab the collection kit. Once the other items have been packed, I'll take the suitcase down to the basement and re-unite it with the collection kit.

This week I also thought I'd figured out the timing for my mat-leave. The plan was to start it on July 26th so I'd still have 2 weeks until my due date to chill out. That plan is still in effect, but my manager's boss asked me today if I could work some half-days up until my due date. It's food for thought, and I may do the half-day thing after the 26th. It wouldn't be a big deal for me if I came in for the morning and just went home at noon or 1pm.

And finally, at long last, there is a light at the end of the tunnel for the kitchen renos! We got confirmation this week that our kitchen counter is getting put in on Monday, which means that the kitchen may actually be done by the end of next week. Yay!!! Whether or not that actually happens remains to be seen. Still, I'm glad that there's a date. I'll be even happier if the kitchen renos are done before PK arrives. Keep your fingers crossed!

The Best-Laid Plans...

I should know by now that even the best-laid plans can be blown to smitherenes due to unaccounted for circumstances. I also should've learned a lesson from my first trimester - even I, a self-proclaimed Energizer Bunny, am at the mercy of my pregnant body and CAN (and WILL) get tired.

As with the first-trimester fatigue, the third-trimester fatigue has TOTALLY caught me off-guard. So much so that I had to take a "me day" last week to rest up.

When I first got pregnant, I had this "brilliant" idea that I could work through until I went into labor. I joked with my manager that my water would break while I was working away at my desk. I still find the thought rather amusing. :P Working up until the bitter end SEEMED like a good idea, especially since I was full of boundless energy in my second trimester and had trouble believing that the energy levels would drop once I got into my third trimester. Enter third trimester. An entirely different beast. Energy levels dropped. Staying awake during meetings was becoming increasingly more difficult. Walking around without huffing and puffing seemed like a distant memory.

That got me thinking that taking some time off before PK arrived wouldn't be such a bad idea. My days of sleeping in are very short-lived. As are my days of being selfish. I might as well enjoy what little time I have of life before PK, because after PK is born, life as I know it will cease to exist. Not for the worse, so I'm told, which is at least comforting. At any rate, I felt that I NEEDED to set a date for my mat-leave. So yesterday I told my boss that two weeks from that day would be my last day at work.

Yup, just tell me "I told you so".

Those Damned Pesky Emotions

My mom just sent me an e-mail forward about motherhood. I'll post the text at a later time because it's in Portuguese, so I still need to translate it. At any rate, it made me go all teary-eyed and it so happened that as I was reading this e-mail, a couple of people happened to come to my desk and saw me in tears. How embarrassing! I'm used to being so composed at the office, and this just makes me look so vulnerable and not in control.

It's those damned pregnancy hormones. That'll teach me to read mushy stuff during office hours.

Matleave Ponderings #3

I've finally gotten around to filling out the various matleave forms for work. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, though it was annoying to calculate the dates. Matleave seems to be split off into 2 - pregnancy leave, which is 17 weeks, and parental leave, which is 35 weeks. They add up to a grand total of 1 year.

I'm taking the full 17 weeks of pregnancy leave, and part of the 35 weeks of parental leave, which is why the calculations were so annoying. On top of that, I had to give estimates for:
- Last day to be worked (i.e. beginning of pregnancy leave)
- Last day to be paid
- First day of unpaid leave
- Start date of parental leave
- First day back at work (after parental leave)

I hate calendar calculations. Thanks goodness for MS Excel. :D

Although I technically have my mat-leave starting on August 1st, it's nothing more than an estimated date. In reality, I'll be working until the bitter end. I spoke with my manager and I *may* work a couple of days from home in the 2 weeks or so leading up to my due date, but I don't even know if I'll exercise that option. I think I'd be bored out of my mind working from home in an empty house. I'd rather be at work. Still, the option is there just in case.

I've also had to hash out the details of my part-time work arrangements. At first, I was thinking of working 1 day per week upon returning from maternity leave. After giving it some further thought, however, I decided to revise that plan, and have proposed working 2.5 days per week, or alternating working 2 days one week, and 3 days another week.

Why the change of plans, you ask? Well, let's be realistic. Working 1 day a week is not enough time to really get anything done at the office. On top of that, I don't think that my workplace would even be able to justify getting me a cubicle and computer, let alone approve such an arrangement. Besides, this way, I still get best of both worlds. Time spent with PK, and time to re-integrate into the workforce.

Of course, I have no idea what it'll REALLY be like once PK arrives, so for all I know, this plan may go to the dogs. Fortunately, work is pretty flexible about my changing my mind even while on mat-leave. I just hope that I can stick to the plan.

Ambushed!

I was called into a meeting at 2pm today to discuss a work-relevant topic. About 5 minutes in, the meeting room door opened, and a bunch of other co-workers from my team streamed in with a cake and gift basket - a little surprise baby shower! I'm not used to so much attention, so my face went BRIGHT RED.

I can't even begin to say how touched I was by what my co-workers did. It certainly brightened my Friday. That they would actually put all this time into planning things - organizing a fake meeting, buying a cake, and buying a gift basket - certainly makes me feel like a valued member of the team. I don't think I've ever felt this way at any of my previous workplaces. WOW!

Yes, I Feel FINE!

For whatever reason, when people at the office see me these days, they are inclined to ask me, "How do you feel?" I find the question puzzling. Am I supposed to be feeling bad? Are they waiting for the day when I waddle into the office? Are they waiting for the day when I can't get out of my chair because of my growing belly? Or maybe I'm just reading into this too much and just wanted a topic to blog about. :P

What I do know is this: I FEEL FINE! I'm still exercising regularly, and while my energy levels have dropped a bit and am out of breath more often than not, I still feel like I have more energy than most - certainly more energy than the hubby has. I think he was a bear in a past life due to his love of sleep. :)

Stir-Crazy

I'm finding it harder and harder to concentrate at work these days if I spend a long period of time sitting at my desk. I'm seriously getting stir-crazy. The aches and pains and all that wonderful ick associated to 3rd trimester are sure hitting me. Today my lower back is hurting. My spine overall feels really stiff. I'm shifting in my chair every five minutes (or less). I lean this way and that way, and I'm sure that that's contributing to my aches. My posture has never been great, and lately, it has been worse. I just feel UNCOMFORTABLE! Top that with the fact that I'm trying to pump out a technical design document complete with inspiring (HA!) technical writing and pretty Visio diagrams makes me want to get up and leave, and enjoy that nice 22C weather outside.

On the bright side, *only* 10 more weeks to go! (give or take)

Measles: Near-Scare?

The hubby just called me at work to tell me that someone in his office just went to the ER under the suspicion that he or she has measles. I guess the Powers That Be at the office didn't want to name names to protect that individual from being smacked for his or her irresponsibility.

Of course, being 29 weeks pregnant, I flipped out. There's a measles outbreak in Toronto at the moment, and the main reason is that PARENTS DON'T HAVE THEIR KIDS VACCINATED!!! That totally pisses me off because it puts the general population at risk. Parents are weary of vaccinating their kids now because they think that vaccines are linked to autism. Newsflash: autism becomes apparent at around the same time as kids are of age to start getting vaccinated. There's no medical evidence linking the two!

I know that I've had my MMR (Measles-Mumps-Rubella) vaccine, but that was done over 10 years ago. Am I immune if the hubby gets sick? Did he ever get the MMR vaccine? Right now he's trying to get a hold of his mom to ask - we're still waiting to find out...

Anyway, I decided to call my doctor to be on the safe side. I was told that I *should* be okay, but suggested that I call MotherRisk just to be on the safe side. The lady at MotherRisk said that unlike Rubella (German Measles), if the mother gets sick with the measles, the baby is UNHARMED. That's at least a relief. Rubella, on the other hand, is another beast altogether. If the mother contracts Rubella, the baby can end up being born with birth defects. I know I'm fine for Rubella (I had a blood test to check up on my immunity to that before I got pregnant), so that's at least a relief. But that's neither here nor there - measles are the cause for concern right now, not Rubella.

The lady at MotherRisk also said that I should *technically* be immune to the measles because I got my MMR vaccine, but these things are never 100%. I still got sick with the whooping cough when I was 8 even though I had my DPT vaccine, so I am very painfully aware of the fact that she's right.

Still, I find this whole situation annoying. It's a total waiting game for us, and what a big pile of pooh this is. We have our HypnoBirthing class tonight, and we don't even know if we should show up...GAH!!!

Week 27

Overall, the allergies have treated me well this week. Unfortunately, just when I thought I could go about normal life sans tissues and hack attacks, my allergies came back with a vengeance on May 10th (the day I was at my friend's wedding). They were fine-ish during the actual wedding, which took place in the morning. By the time we'd made it over to my parents' place to celebrate Mother's Day that evening, my nose was stuffed, and I was in perma-sneeze mode. Fortunately, that seemed to have been the worst of it, and the rest of the week played out as smoothly as one can expect for going through allergy season sans medication.

Now the TRUE highlight of the week was HypnoBirthing. My classes started on May 13th, and they'll be running for 5 weeks total. To my delight/surprise, the class was relatively small - there were only 4 other couples in the class. I much prefer the smaller groups due to my introverted (with extroverted tendencies) nature. I find it a lot easier to interact with others and to speak up more readily and freely.

The class itself was taught by two doulas, Natasha and Amanda. Both are as nice as can be and pretty down-to-earth, which makes the classes very enjoyable. My only complaint is that I found the first class a bit poorly-organized. I don't hold it against them though, because it was the first time that they were teaching the class, and it was the first time that they had to set up in that classroom. I would normally be pretty miffed by the fact that neither of them had taught HypnoBirthing before, but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. They've done their HypnoBirthing instructor training, and they are, doulas after all. Isn't their job to be soothing and supporting throughout childbirth?

As far as first impressions of HypnoBirthing itself go, I think that the class made an even more positive impression on me than I'd originally had from my preliminary research. Even the hubby seemed into it. When I'd first told him that I'd wanted to take HypnoBirthing classes, he looked at me with much skepticism, advising me to research it so that I could be sure that it was money well-spent. After all, it IS rather pricey - ~$350 for 5 weeks! Unfortunately, the term "HypnoBirthing" evokes images of a bunch of hippies living in a cult-like commune brainwashing unwitting mothers-to-be with their psycho-babble. Of course, that didn't help my cause. So I humored him and did some research. I sent him a number of articles that I'd found online, and I got him to read a few pamphlets that I'd brought home from my pre-natal fitness classes. It didn't take very long to get him on my side, thank goodness!

The more I get into it, the more I realize that HypnoBirthing is a state of mind. It's all about being in a good headspace during the birthing process. As the founder of HypnoBirthing - Marie Mongan - points out, giving birth is a part of nature. If the less "intelligent" animals can do it without drugs, why can't we? Unfortunately, throughout history, childbirth has evolved from something perfectly natural and relatively stress-free, to this horrid, painful experience that requires medical intervention to "get it over with". Total horse-pucky.

If you can get past these societal taboos around childbirth, then that alone is a HUGE step in the right direction. The next part of the philosophy is to learn to RELAX. I'll be the first to admit that I am NOT a relaxed individual. I fidget. I get nervous when I have nothing to do. I always need to have everything scheduled. I think that's why this HypnoBirthing experience will be positive for me. If I can learn to be a calmer, more relaxed person, then that alone is a huge success for me! Some of the breathing exercises that we've done in the past couple of weeks have been great so far. I already feel myself becoming a more relaxed person, which is huge for me.

The only thing I'm not quite sold on is the hubby's role in coaching me on my breathing during labor. We've both agreed that that's just not "us". I do, however, believe that we can tailor what we've learned (and are learning) in our HypnoBirthing classes into a birthing process that works for us, so that doesn't worry me at all. I was never a stickler for following the rules word-for-word anyway - my baking is edibly yummy proof of that!

Baby Bump at the Office

I've been having fun noticing how people react to my baby bump as it has evolved over the past few months.

When I first started showing, people at the office would CONSTANTLY stare at my belly, DYING to ask me if I was expecting. I'd say that 99% of them were too nervous to say anything, on the off-chance that I was gaining weight. I say off-chance not because I'm cocky, but because people at the office know that I'm a workout nut, with my rock-climbing, weekly squash games, and epic walks to work with giant backpack in tow. Obviously I knew why they were staring, but opted to play dumb and see if they'd work up the nerve to say anything.

Some brave souls DID ask me in the early stages of the baby bump, and all of these brave souls - 3 of them in total - were women. No guy dared ask me, though if any guy DID notice a bulge, they probably thought that I was just getting fat - a main contributor to the awkward stares described above, I'm sure.

As my belly has grown, people have gotten braver and have asked me flat out: "So when are you due?" I guess at this point, seeing that I haven't really gained much weight anywhere else, it's pretty obvious that I'm pregnant. Either that, or I get fat in really weird places. :P A question like that still takes me by surprise, though, because it's so bleepin' blunt. Not that I care either way. I just find it surprising/funny.

In the last few days, the comments about the baby bump have gotten more amusing. I guess I spend too much time sitting at my desk, or at least not that much time roaming around where my former teammates roam, because I think that some people around here really had no idea that they were pregnant until they ran into me recently. I guess this isn't a gossipy office, which is a good thing. Today's office comments take the cake:

Comment #1
Comment: "Oh, I didn't know! Congratulations!"
Translation: "Holy crap! You're pregnant, but if I say 'pregnant' and you're not really, then I'm in trouble, so I'll just sound kinda wishy-washy and hope that I'm right."

Comment #2
Comment: "Oh, it took me a while to notice! Congratulations!"
Translation: "Crap! Am I a bad person for not having noticed sooner? Hopefully the hormonal pregnant lady won't get mad at me!"

More fun-filled comments to come, I'm sure!

Bleh to Special Treatment

I've been told by more than one person that I should enjoy the perks of being pregnant - namely, all of this extra attention. To be perfectly honest with you, I actually find it a bit annoying.

I have found people to be extra-nice to me, asking me how I'm feeling, and paying a heck of a lot more attention to me than they ever did before. I don't like it one bit. You might think that this sounds completely crazy, but the way I look at it is that I'm still the same person. So unless I'm wearing some sort of magic potion that makes everyone love me all of a sudden, I am VERY suspicious of all of this sudden attention.

Another thing that bugs me is that people seem to think that I'm in some fragile state. At work, people ask me every day how I'm feeling. I'm starting to wonder if I'm looking really sick or miserable or something, because I haven't felt like crap since my first trimester ended and since I got over the cold marathon that followed.

Besides that, whenever people at work see me carrying something heavy, they always try to grab the load from me or refuse to let me carry any heavy stuff when I offer to carry say a laptop or a projector. Little do they realize that I walk 2-3 km to work every morning with a gigantic backpack, and walk back from the grocery store each week with 2 bags and a backpack. Tsk tsk...

I've also had people open doors for me more often now that I'm pregnant. This really bothers me for some reason, especially when people give me the sympathetic "oh, you're pregnant" look. Ugh. I haven't yet had someone give up their seat for me on the subway, which is a quasi-relief to me. I feel fine right now (maybe I won't be saying this when I look like I swallowed a beachball a couple of months down the road), so I really don't want people giving up their seats for me. I think that the only reason why nobody gives up their seat for me on the subway is because you can't tell that I'm pregnant when I wear a jacket. I'm sure that won't last for long, but hopefully summer will be here soon so that I won't have to worry about whether or not I can fit into my jacket.

I'm such a whiner, eh? ;-)

Lay Off My Belly!

Now that I'm starting to really show - enough that my arsenal of maternity clothes has gone from 3 shirts and 2 tanktops to a whopping 7 shirts and 2 tanktops - people seem to think that I have a sign posted on my belly that says "Touch Me". WTF is up with that??? Before getting pregnant, my abdomen was completely uninteresting to the general public, and now, everyone seems to think that it's public property. Not cool.

I've read in my pregnancy books that this is a common occurrence, but I guess I didn't quite believe it until now. After all, IT MAKES NO SENSE. Unfortunately, I'm too shy to say "Stay the F! away from my belly, you creep!", so I just smile and laugh when they touch my belly. Obviously the wrong kind of feedback as it only encourages that type of behavior.

Here are some belly-touching deterrents that I've come up with thus far:
1. Post a big sign on my belly that says "Lay off!"
2. Slap anyone who touches my belly
3. Always walk around with my hands in front of me
4. Touch the toucher's abdomen if they touch mine
5. Spray the toucher with Lysol
6. Rub the toucher's head

How would you deal with this? Any suggestions are welcome!

Matleave Ponderings #2

About 2 weeks ago, I asked my manager to look into my company policy to see if I could pull off my hair-brained matleave plan. Today he came back to me essentially saying that HR told him flat out that this matleave thing is an all-or-nothing deal. Bollocks, I say! Why would my employer be opposed to having me work part-time throughout my matleave? Sheesh. At any rate, the battle is not yet over. He said he'd speak to a Higher Power about my situation, so we'll see how that pans out. Stay tuned!

Righting a Wrong

I am happy to report that I finally have a conclusion to the DBA story. Last week, I finally got up the nerve to set things straight with the DBA. I have to admit that I was dreading this particular encounter. So much so that I procrastinated and procrastinated. I think I waited almost 2 weeks before getting up the nerve to tell her.

Last Wednesday, I finally sucked it up and marched over to the DBA's desk and set the record straight. I started off by apologizing, saying that when she'd asked me if I was expecting and I said no, that I am in fact expecting, and that the reason I'd said no to her before is that I hadn't told my manager yet. So now that the news was officially out I was able to tell her.

She was actually really good about the whole thing - very understanding. Who knows, she might've had a voodoo doll of me stashed under my desk for after I left, but on the surface, she certainly took it well. We chit-chatted a bit about pregnancy, and that was that. Mission accomplished, and a bit weight lifted off of my chest! Whew!

Matleave Ponderings #1

As I've mentioned in the previous post, I was all ready to take my 1-year off for matleave. After my job situation changed and the work became more interesting (and tolerable!), I started to re-think the whole thing.

Over the last few weeks, I've talked to a few people about my plans. Some of the people I talked to had kids. Others were single and just had an opinion based on what they'd do in that situation. Everyone has an opinion, and to my surprise, 99% of the people with whom I spoke disagreed with my revised matleave plans. Even my boss, when I told him about my high-level matleave plans, questioned why I wouldn't take the full year off.

In fact, most people seem to be pretty appalled. I get a lot of the "You only get to do this once". That makes no sense, because if you end up with a ton of kids (a ton is >1 in my world :P), you obviously do it more than once. I also get a lot of, "There's plenty of time for work." and "Work will be there when you get back." and "You'll change your mind later." All well and good, but I would like to point out that everyone is different. We all have different opinions and different situations. What works for one family doesn't work for another. My decision is both hard and stressful enough without having everyone and their brother give me their opinion on what I should do, and thinking that their opinion is the definitive way of going about it.

All I ask for is a little bit of support and faith. I am not going to be cuel to PK. I will not abandon it. Working part-time for part of the year isn't abandonment, especially with both sets of grandparents living within a 30-minute drive from us. Having work ambitions isn't criminal. When I enjoy my work, I take great pride in it. I want to do as well as I can. I work hard, but I don't pull insane hours. If I wanted to do that, I would've stayed in consulting and might have never gotten married, let alone be having a child. I'm a big fan of work-life balance, and I think that PK will bring even more balance to this crazy life of ours.

So smile, and be happy for me, knowing that PK will be loved and will be well-taken care of. :)

Telling the Boss - Attempt #2

Given that my last attempt to tell the boss about my pregnancy was a dud, it was time to try again. Fortunately, he was in the office on the Friday of that week (2008.02.22).

We have a regularly-scheduled one-on-one meeting on Friday mornings to discuss status, issues, and concerns. So the timing was good. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it to the meeting because of a of doctor's appointment that morning, so I had to re-schedule for the afternoon.

So finally, that afternoon, we went for our meeting. It was a productive meeting. I talked about all sorts of work-related thing. Lots of progress made, lots of status to give, a few issues to report. Crap...my 1-hour timeslot was almost over! I guess it was now or never. So I just blurted it out: "I've got some interesting news for you. I'm expecting." His reaction was surprising. He took it REALLY well. I guess it's because he has a newborn daughter (born in late December or early January), so he's still gushing. He was genuinely happy for me! Whew! Sigh of relief.

Now onto the hard part - maternity leave. By law, I'm allowed 1 year off without suffering any job repercussions. When I first became pregnant, I was all ready to take 1 year off. Honestly, I didn't really like my job that much and was dying for a year away from it. Then in early 2008, the job situation changed. I got moved to a new team, leading a team of 3 developers. Suddenly, I started enjoying my job. And suddenly, 1 year off seemed like too much. So I started thinking of alternatives. It wouldn't feel right to dump PK into daycare after 6 months. At the same time, being away from my job for 1 year felt like an awfully long time. Could I work out a compromise? Could I take 6 months of mat leave and work part-time or work from home for another 6 months before coming back full-time? Could I take 6 months off and have the hubby take another 6 months off?

The hubby really wanted to do the 50/50 split, but we have one little problem. He's in consulting, having been on the road for a chunk of his 10-plus-year career there. One year after we got married, he finally got an in-town gig. If he took 6 months off, his nice little in-town gig wouldn't be guaranteed when he got back. So short-term gain, but long-term pain. Definitely an unacceptable outcome when starting out a family. I guess that idea was off the table.

So now I've got to play around with my part-time/work-from-home idea. I think it could work. Personally, I find it hard to get back into the groove of things after being away on vacation for 2 weeks. I can only imagine how hard it would be to be off for an entire year. This way, I get the best of both worlds. Time with PK, and steady re-integration into work. Plus this way, I still stay involved with my team. The boss seemed to be fine with the idea. We just need to see if that meshes with company policy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

One week has passed since I told my boss. We haven't really talked about it too much since then. I kind of wanted to let it sit a bit before bringing up timing on things. Besides, according to company policy, I have to give written notice about 4 weeks before going on matleave. I doubt I'll wait that long to do it, but regardless, I still have time to work something out.

So now the cat's out of the bag. My boss knows, and his boss knows. My pregnancy is still not public knowledge at work, but people are starting to notice. The girl who sits in the cubicle beside me asked last week if I was expecting. Since my boss knows, I was able to say yes this time. Another co-worker (my former manager) didn't come out and ask me, but he kept staring at my stomach when I ran into him in the elevator earlier this week. Of course, I still have one outstanding item. I have to tell the truth to the poor DBA that I'd lied to earlier. She probably feels really bad about the whole thing in thinking that I was pregnant and then getting "confirmation" from me that I wasn't. I actually feel worse, because I had to lie to her about it. I hate lying, but at that time, I felt that I had no other choice. Telling someone else at work before telling the boss is a big-no-no. Plus, having been there only 6 months, I think it would not bode über-well. At any rate, I have to fix this wrong. Stay tuned!

Telling the Boss: Attempt #1

Today I was all ready to give my boss the big news. I planned it all in my head. Rehearsed the speech. Had a rough plan for maternity leave. Then, I get into work this morning, and there's a message from my manager in my inbox. His wife is sick today, and he has to stay home to care for his two young daughters. Crap! Before, I wanted to hide this pregnancy for as long as possible. Now, I've reached the end of "possible", and I've got to start telling people before it becomes so obvious that when I do get around to telling people, they go, "Duh! That's obvious." Still, there was nothing I could do about it today. I just hope that the boss is in tomorrow so that I can break the news to them.

Can't Hide It For Much Longer...

So I've been putting off telling the good folks at work about PK's impending arrival. I've mentioned that a couple of times, so I won't re-hash the reasons why. At any rate, I am showing somewhat, and the trained maternal eye will most likely notice first. I don't suspect that guys would necessarily notice because, no offense, they tend to be a bit more oblivious to these things.

To prove my point, I cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. It was sitting about 5cm below my shoulders, and I had it cut to just above my shoulders. So basically 7-8cm chopped off. Definitely a significant chop-chop. None of my guy friends noticed. My female friends, however, did notice.

So where was I going with this? Well, not 5 minutes ago, the DBA for my group came by my desk to ask me for some info. She hadn't seen me for a while, and last time she saw me, I was in my svelte rock-climbing form. Definitely no bulge on the front. After she got the info she came for, she whispered to me, "Are you expecting?" Split-second decision. Do I say anything to her and risk pissing off my managers for not knowing first, or do I just go the Hollywood starlet route and deny, deny, deny? I decided to take the starlet route and said "No." I did, however, unintentionally speak with a slightly indignant tone. All that together probably made her feel super-duper embarrassed for asking and probably made her think that she was calling me fat.

After the "incident", I IMed a friend of mine, telling him the story. Here's a snippet of our IM chat:

[14:17] Friend: Just say you've got a parasitic condition causing you to gain weight and you'd appreciate not letting it get around the office.

[14:17] Me: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[14:18] Friend: And it's not a lie, persay, some people might think of pregnancy in that way. :$

[14:18] Friend: And then when you're away on a doctor's appointment, people wont ask you about it. :$

Dang, I wish I'd thought of that! :P j/k!

Overall, I feel really bad about being in this type of situation, and I HATE lying, but I can't afford to have other people know before I tell management. I guess that this little episode proves that I can't hide my little PK's existence for much longer. I'm going to have to tell management, and it'll probably have to be on Friday, after my doctor's appointment. Stay tuned!