Telling the Boss - Attempt #2

Given that my last attempt to tell the boss about my pregnancy was a dud, it was time to try again. Fortunately, he was in the office on the Friday of that week (2008.02.22).

We have a regularly-scheduled one-on-one meeting on Friday mornings to discuss status, issues, and concerns. So the timing was good. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it to the meeting because of a of doctor's appointment that morning, so I had to re-schedule for the afternoon.

So finally, that afternoon, we went for our meeting. It was a productive meeting. I talked about all sorts of work-related thing. Lots of progress made, lots of status to give, a few issues to report. Crap...my 1-hour timeslot was almost over! I guess it was now or never. So I just blurted it out: "I've got some interesting news for you. I'm expecting." His reaction was surprising. He took it REALLY well. I guess it's because he has a newborn daughter (born in late December or early January), so he's still gushing. He was genuinely happy for me! Whew! Sigh of relief.

Now onto the hard part - maternity leave. By law, I'm allowed 1 year off without suffering any job repercussions. When I first became pregnant, I was all ready to take 1 year off. Honestly, I didn't really like my job that much and was dying for a year away from it. Then in early 2008, the job situation changed. I got moved to a new team, leading a team of 3 developers. Suddenly, I started enjoying my job. And suddenly, 1 year off seemed like too much. So I started thinking of alternatives. It wouldn't feel right to dump PK into daycare after 6 months. At the same time, being away from my job for 1 year felt like an awfully long time. Could I work out a compromise? Could I take 6 months of mat leave and work part-time or work from home for another 6 months before coming back full-time? Could I take 6 months off and have the hubby take another 6 months off?

The hubby really wanted to do the 50/50 split, but we have one little problem. He's in consulting, having been on the road for a chunk of his 10-plus-year career there. One year after we got married, he finally got an in-town gig. If he took 6 months off, his nice little in-town gig wouldn't be guaranteed when he got back. So short-term gain, but long-term pain. Definitely an unacceptable outcome when starting out a family. I guess that idea was off the table.

So now I've got to play around with my part-time/work-from-home idea. I think it could work. Personally, I find it hard to get back into the groove of things after being away on vacation for 2 weeks. I can only imagine how hard it would be to be off for an entire year. This way, I get the best of both worlds. Time with PK, and steady re-integration into work. Plus this way, I still stay involved with my team. The boss seemed to be fine with the idea. We just need to see if that meshes with company policy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

One week has passed since I told my boss. We haven't really talked about it too much since then. I kind of wanted to let it sit a bit before bringing up timing on things. Besides, according to company policy, I have to give written notice about 4 weeks before going on matleave. I doubt I'll wait that long to do it, but regardless, I still have time to work something out.

So now the cat's out of the bag. My boss knows, and his boss knows. My pregnancy is still not public knowledge at work, but people are starting to notice. The girl who sits in the cubicle beside me asked last week if I was expecting. Since my boss knows, I was able to say yes this time. Another co-worker (my former manager) didn't come out and ask me, but he kept staring at my stomach when I ran into him in the elevator earlier this week. Of course, I still have one outstanding item. I have to tell the truth to the poor DBA that I'd lied to earlier. She probably feels really bad about the whole thing in thinking that I was pregnant and then getting "confirmation" from me that I wasn't. I actually feel worse, because I had to lie to her about it. I hate lying, but at that time, I felt that I had no other choice. Telling someone else at work before telling the boss is a big-no-no. Plus, having been there only 6 months, I think it would not bode über-well. At any rate, I have to fix this wrong. Stay tuned!