Friday, February 29, 2008

Pre-Natal Classes - SUCCESS!

This week I finally made it out to my pre-natal fitness classes. Overall, it has definitely been a positive experience. I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm currently signed up for pre-natal Yoga and pre-natal aqua-aerobics. For both classes, the instructors spend about 30 minutes talking about pregnancy-related things.

For the Yoga class this week, the instructor brought in an Osteopath to talk about the different therapies available for women during pregnancy, post-partum, and even for their little ones once they're born. If you don't know what an Osteopath does (and I certainly didn't until this past week), I guess they're a bit of a cross between RMTs and chiropractors. She mentioned that she treats anything from constipation to headaches to indigestions for pregnant women, to misshapen baby heads resulting from vacuum extraction or from babies spending too much time on their backs. Pretty neat. Definitely something I'd look into.

The Yoga class itself was interesting. I'd taken Yoga before, so there were no surprises. Obviously the curriculum was modified to better suit pregnant women, especially since some of the ladies in the class looked like they were going to give birth at any moment. Given that I do tend to overreact and stress easily, I think that the Yoga will help to calm my nerves. And I'm sure that Junior will thank me for it. :P

The aqua-aerobics discussion topic was also quite interesting. Again, a few of the ladies looked like they were about to burst, so the focus of the discussion was on natural labor induction. Apparently "artificial" induction happens by giving the woman a synthetic version of the substance that naturally induces labor. Sorry, I forget the name. At any rate, this artificial induction can be quite painful, which is why so many women need epidurals. Honestly, the thought of sticking a big-ass needle in my spine freaks me out, so I'd like to avoid having an epidural if I can, so this is definitely welcome news. At any rate the other fun fact was that womens' due dates are calculated at 40 weeks, but the human gestation period is somewhere between 38(?) and 42 weeks (don't know if I have the exact #s). So technically women can to into labor after their due date, and that's perfectly fine, as long as your placenta and your amniotic fluid are both fine. Basically inducing labor artificially if you don't need to results in pain. :P

So on to naturally-induced labor. Some of the things that people mentioned were:
1. Castor oil
2. Walking
3. Going upstairs sideways
4. Jumping jacks
5. Warm baths
6. Acupuncture
7. Acupressure

While apparently none of these have been scientifically-proven to work, some people swear by them. Definitely food for thought.

And as for the class itself, it was LOADS OF FUN! The instructor I had yesterday was a sub, which is too bad, because she was really peppy. Hopefully the regular instructor is just as peppy. I'd never taken an aqua-aerobics class before, so I didn't really know what to expect. The instructor stayed out of the pool showing us the moves, and we had to mimic them (same as a regular aerobics class). Of course, being in the water made it a thousand times more difficult to do some of the things she wanted us to do. It was insane. I was so tired, but I felt so energized! I was initially worried about attire since I was wearing a bikini and thought I'd be the only one. Fortunately, it was about a 50/50 mix. There were some VERY pregnant women in bikinis, so I felt relieved. I'm definitely psyched for the next class!

So overall, the classes were a very positive experience. It's really nice to be in an environment where I'm the only pregnant woman around. That being said, it was still weird, because I guess I'm still not quite used to the idea of being pregnant. The other thing is that of all the people there, I was the least pregnant-looking of them all. I'm around 3.5 to 4 months pregnant, and most women were between 6 and 8 months pregnant. It was to the point where I didn't really feel all that pregnant, because I had a heck of a lot more mobility than they did. I'm probably just over-analyzing. :P The other thing is that I'm pretty shy, so I don't go out of my way to talk to people. Most of these women already knew each other, probably from starting together (you can join whenever, but the classes do run on 10-week cycles), so I totally felt out of the loop. I'm sure that given some time things will change. At any rate, I'm glad that I did sign up for these classes. It's sure nice to be able to stay fit during this time and to know what exercises I can and can't do.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Eating for Two

I would like to dispel a pregnancy untruth once and for all - this whole "you're eating for two" business. Let's think about that for a second. I'm 16 weeks pregnant. One quick note on that. I lost track of how many weeks pregnant I was, and my "Week 16" post was actually still my 15th week. I signed up to and now I get weekly e-mails to tell me how far along I am. No more confusion!

Anyway, I digress. As I said, I'm 16 weeks pregnant. According to literature, this means that little PK is about the size of an avocado. Hardly the size of a full person. In fact, when PK is born, he or she will weigh 3.2kg (7 pounds, for you non-metric people - shame shame!). Again, hardly a full person. This begs the question: if the wee little person currently taking up residence in my innards is about the size of an avocado and will weigh ~3kg by the time it comes out, HOW EXACTLY AM I EATING FOR TWO? More like 1.15, if you ask me.

For those of you who are misinformed, the only additional food you eat on top of your regular pre-pregnancy diet (assuming you're not hugely overweight) is the equivalent of a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk. I would hardly equate that to being a license to pig out. Besides, the more crap I eat while I'm pregnant, the harder it will be to lose after the baby pops out. That alone is incentive for me not to feast on chocolates and candies, thank you very much.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Telling the Boss: Attempt #1

Today I was all ready to give my boss the big news. I planned it all in my head. Rehearsed the speech. Had a rough plan for maternity leave. Then, I get into work this morning, and there's a message from my manager in my inbox. His wife is sick today, and he has to stay home to care for his two young daughters. Crap! Before, I wanted to hide this pregnancy for as long as possible. Now, I've reached the end of "possible", and I've got to start telling people before it becomes so obvious that when I do get around to telling people, they go, "Duh! That's obvious." Still, there was nothing I could do about it today. I just hope that the boss is in tomorrow so that I can break the news to them.

Pre-Natal Class Dud #2

Today was supposed to be my first aqua-aerobics class. I was totally stoked. I packed my bikini and my towel in with my things this morning so that I could go to the class straight after work. The problem is, I never made it there.

You see, I've got this pesky cold. I think I mentioned it earlier. It started on Saturday night, and it has been getting progressively worse. I was okay with it couple of days ago. Sure, my left nostril was perma-plugged, but that was just a small nuisance. I could deal with that. Then, today, all hell broke loose. I woke up with a bit of a sore throat. I'm coughing intermittently (no nasty gooey phlegm like last time, but that could change). Wost of all, my nose is so badly stuffed up that it causes me to gag. Vicks VapoRub isn't doing the trick. I can blow my nose vigorously for a few seconds to let the air flow in, but that only gives me a few seconds of relief. In short, I am a health wreck.

As I left work today, I was still pretty determined to get to that class. In spite of the fact that my nose was all stuffed up and I was getting the chills. I think that the chills were caused by the Arctic air that's pumped through my office building all winter. Nonetheless, it certainly didn't make me feel any better.

Given all of these lovely things, I went with my instinct and decided to forgo today's class. I figure that I don't want to risk getting any worse from sitting in a pool for 2 hours, and I am optimistically hoping that I'll be well enough next week to finally be able to attend my classes. So keep your fingers crossed and knock on wood!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Can't Hide It For Much Longer...

So I've been putting off telling the good folks at work about PK's impending arrival. I've mentioned that a couple of times, so I won't re-hash the reasons why. At any rate, I am showing somewhat, and the trained maternal eye will most likely notice first. I don't suspect that guys would necessarily notice because, no offense, they tend to be a bit more oblivious to these things.

To prove my point, I cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. It was sitting about 5cm below my shoulders, and I had it cut to just above my shoulders. So basically 7-8cm chopped off. Definitely a significant chop-chop. None of my guy friends noticed. My female friends, however, did notice.

So where was I going with this? Well, not 5 minutes ago, the DBA for my group came by my desk to ask me for some info. She hadn't seen me for a while, and last time she saw me, I was in my svelte rock-climbing form. Definitely no bulge on the front. After she got the info she came for, she whispered to me, "Are you expecting?" Split-second decision. Do I say anything to her and risk pissing off my managers for not knowing first, or do I just go the Hollywood starlet route and deny, deny, deny? I decided to take the starlet route and said "No." I did, however, unintentionally speak with a slightly indignant tone. All that together probably made her feel super-duper embarrassed for asking and probably made her think that she was calling me fat.

After the "incident", I IMed a friend of mine, telling him the story. Here's a snippet of our IM chat:

[14:17] Friend: Just say you've got a parasitic condition causing you to gain weight and you'd appreciate not letting it get around the office.

[14:17] Me: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[14:18] Friend: And it's not a lie, persay, some people might think of pregnancy in that way. :$

[14:18] Friend: And then when you're away on a doctor's appointment, people wont ask you about it. :$

Dang, I wish I'd thought of that! :P j/k!

Overall, I feel really bad about being in this type of situation, and I HATE lying, but I can't afford to have other people know before I tell management. I guess that this little episode proves that I can't hide my little PK's existence for much longer. I'm going to have to tell management, and it'll probably have to be on Friday, after my doctor's appointment. Stay tuned!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Pre-Natal Class Dud

I was totally ready to write about my first pre-natal yoga class today. I was really looking forward to it. It would be the first time I'd be interacting with other moms-to-be. My family has been greatly supportive this entire time, but there is nothing like being around others in the same situation as you.

My pre-natal classes are done through a program here called Baby and Me Fitness. I purchased a package last week for 6 months of unlimited classes. Basically, I could attend any number of their classes for the next 6 months. I think I mentioned last week that I'm signed up for yoga and aqua-aerobics (PS: I've been having a hell of a time finding a maternity swimsuit, so I settled on wearing a bikini instead - hopefully I don't wind up looking like a hoochie when I go to my first class on Thursday). The lady on the phone said that I could start the yoga class on Monday, February 18th. Great. Well, one wee little detail. Today ist the Family Day holiday in Ontario. Not only that, it's the first EVER Family Day holiday in Ontario (don't get me started on this). Anyway, the thought did cross my mind that there was a chance of there not being a class today, but thought to myself, "Nah. The lady on the phone would've told me." Well, if she's like everyone else, she probably forgot that there was an upcoming holiday. Hell, I almost went to work today!

So dismissing that little voice in my head telling me that there may not be a class today after all, I headed to my class. And when I got there, the doors to the building were closed. Now the little voice was loud and clear (if you got the Magnum PI reference, you're an old geek :P): "It's closed because of the holiday!" Well, that and the sign on the door saying that the center was open from 7:30am to 5:30pm due to the Family Day holiday was also a big hint.

Oh least I got a good walk in! Hopefully I'll be able to report on the aqua-aerobics class!

Freakout #2

I told you I'd be freaking out again! So today I was lying awake in bed at around 8:30am. With the sun rising earlier these days, I find it hard to sleep past 8am, which is really annoying since I just want to enjoy sleeping in while I still can.

I decided to flip through The Pregnancy Bible, reading the chapter on common pre-natal tests. So far, so good. Most of it was stuff that I already knew. Then I flipped to a section on common pregnancy complications. Again, most of it was stuff I already knew. Then I hit a section on Listeriosis, which is caused by a bacterium found in unpasteurized milk and cheese, and raw or undercooked food. I read on. I need to avoid unpasteurized cheeses such as brie (already knew that), and also unpasteurized goat milk products.

Hold up. Say what? Then I remembered eating a sample of goat cheese on a baguette at Whole Foods last week. Was it unpasteurized? And what about the undercooked foods? One week ago we went to dinner at The Keg and had steak. My steak was prepared medium-well. Is that considered under-cooked? Then I read that you shouldn't be eating foods that have been cooked and then refrigerated for re-heating later on. I'm guessing that this referred to consuming prepared foods at the supermarket, like those Maple Leaf fresh foods. But did this also apply to leftovers? Technically leftovers were cooked and then are refrigerated for later consumption.

Heart pounding. Freaking out. Reading on. Listeriosis is hard to detect, with symptoms appearing between 12 hours and 30 DAYS after contaminated food is eaten. It can result in miscarriage, preterm labor, newborn infections, or stillbirths. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I couldn't take it anymore. I closed the book and woke up the hubby, who was sound asleep. The poor thing is a good sport about the whole thing. I think I owe him a nice fancy dinner out after all this is done. Anyway, I digress. He did point out that I freak out about any little medical thing - I have a terrible terrible fear of salmonella, so I obsessively wash hands after I handle eggs or chicken. He said that I should just calm down and stop worrying, because it won't do me or the baby any good. I know he's right, and I'm trying hard not to think about it, but it still freaks me out. I'm hoping to talk to the sis about it later (she's a med student) to help quell those fears. Hopefully she yells at me and tells me that I'm freaking out over nothing.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Week 16

Well, this has been an interesting week so far. Here are the highlights:

Sick Again???

Unless I am mistaken (and I hope I am), it appears that I am coming down with my THIRD cold since New Year's. Just when I was finally starting to get over that post-viral cough too. I must've angered some god in a distant galaxy, because that's the only logical explanation I can come up with for getting sick so often. I am a friggin' germ magnet! WTF??? The thing that pisses me off is that I am being extra-careful about not picking up extra germs. I wash my hands frequently and use hand sanitizer. I avoid walkng in the same path as someone coughing or sneezing in front of me. I guess it doesn't matter to my body. I think my white blood cells have retaliated and decided to put up a "germs welcome" sign. It's the only explanation I can come up with. How can I enjoy being pregnant when there's always SOMETHING that makes this pregnancy extremely comfortable. I'VE HAD IT ALREADY. NO MORE!!!

Maybe I need to just build myself a sterile bubble and live there for the next 6 months or so.

Baby Gear

On a brighter note, I've started buying more baby paraphernalia. Yesterday I went on a baby shopping trip. I picked up 3 cute little stuffed animals - a big bear that we named Ollie, a mokey named Huggie Monkey, and a bunny named Flopsie. You need good names for stuffies, after all. :) I also picked up a few baby books - a couple of Dr. Seuss books (the little wee kiddie version), a couple of those soft felt books, and the timeless classic, Pat the Bunny. I had a copy as a kid, as did the hubby, and our 2-year-old niece. And finally, I got a couple more onesies at Baby Gap. I'm such a sucker for baby clothes. Too bad that babies grow so fast that they don't really fit into these types of clothes for long. For that reason, I think we'll probably end up buying more stuff from Old Navy. I don't particularly care for their adult clothes, but they do have some nice, inexpensive baby clothes.

We have also started looking at baby gear. I swear there is so much stuff to buy: crib, change table, dresser, bookshelf, car seat, stroller, diaper bag, bottles, books, toys, diapers, etc. The list is endless, and so are the options.

I think we're pretty much set on our stroller - the Bugaboo. My sister-in-law has one for her daughter, and it works great. We're just trying to decide now between the Frog and the Bee. I'm leaning towards the Bee myself. I like how it folds up very compactly, which is good since we drive a wee little 2001 Civic.

As for bedroom furniture, it's a tough choice. Do we go with the cheapie stuff from Sears or Toys R Us, or do we get some swanky-looking furniture from a store like Pottery Barn Kids? I saw a really nice crib on But it costs almost $1000. And is it really worth it to buy an expensive crib if the kid will outgrow it by age two or so? Decisions, decisions. Fortunately we still have a few months. :)


My memory is already pretty crappy, and it seems that now it's even crappier. I seem to find myself at a loss for words. They're always at the tip of my tongue, but I can never come up with the right word. I find that's especially true when I watch Jeopardy! these days. Not to mention the fact that if I don't act on a thought right away, I forget about it. For example, I was going to write about something else before writing this memory piece, but then I decided to fix some formatting on the earlier part of this entry, and by the time I came back to what I had started, I'd forgotten what it was that I was trying to do in the first place. So frustrating!


Work doesn't know yet about my pregnancy. I think I'll have to tell them soon, because I'm starting to show. It's not too obvious, but there's definitely a bump. Not to mention the fact that my boobs are significantly larger than they were before, so it might tip some people off - or at least they might think I got implants...haha.

I need to figure out just how I'm going to go about telling them. I'm actually really worried about how they'll react at work as far changing my current role. They obviously can't fire me for being pregnant. At the same time, I am leading a technical team, and I cringe at the thought of my manager trying to find a replacement.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Potty Mouth

So I've got a bit of a problem. I have a HUGE potty mouth. The funny thing is that in high school, I would not utter a single foul word - not even "crap". And now, anything goes. The S-word, the F-word, and other very colorful variations. I've tried to tone myself down over the years, coming up with colorful euphemisms to replace these filthy swears. For example, "poppycock" and "horse pucky" for the S-word, and "frickers" or "frack" (go Battlestar!) for the F-word. But now, more than ever, my potty mouth is ON FIRE. I can't stop myself, and I think I know why.

In my sub-conscious mind, I see pregnancy in some ways as the end of youthful and care-free behavior. No more deciding to go see a movie on a school night, or changing weekend plans on a whim just because. Parenthood looms, and with it, loom the R-word and the M-word - Responsibility and Maturity - two things that I lack at times. I guess that my swearing freely (way too freely) is a way of clinging on to that youth. Wouldn't Freud be pleased? Or really disturbed, perhaps?

At any rate, it has got to stop. I joke that PK's first word will be the S-word, but no parent ever wants to have that happen. So I guess it's time for me to grow up at least partway, and stop uttering such profanities.

Week 15

I'm definitely feeling more pregnant. I'm starting to show more and more, even though it still looks like a wee little bump. Though I have to say that bending over is becoming increasingly difficult. Hard to believe, given that it's a very minor bump.

The mall trip with my sister wasn't a total bust in spite of my little breakdown. I did manage to get the Bella Band knock-off at Motherhood Maternity. I'm not quite ready to invest in maternity pants, so this is a nice little alternative which will allow me to keep on wearing my regular pants until about 6 or 7 months. Yay! One word on maternity clothes. Apart from having that nice little maternity belt, Motherhood Maternity has some super-duper frumpy grandma styles. Total ick. The one thing they've got going for them is that they do seem to sell a bunch of little mom-to-be gadgets, like the band, and bra extenders. Hopefully I won't have to resort to the bra extenders, but if I do, I know where to go. Thyme Maternity is a much much nicer store, and when the time comes, I'll definitely check them out. I guess there's also Gap Maternity and Old Navy, though I haven't really seen their styles.

Although the Indigo store I went to on Saturday had the crappiest selection of Parenting books EVER, I did manage to find The Pregnancy Bible at the Indigo near where I live. It really is a great book, though I have to say that some of the pictures of the nude pregnant chicks are a little too much for my taste. That's just me.

On Sunday we bought PK's very first clothes - EVER. A friend of mine had given me a $50 gift card from Baby Gap, so we decided to go spend it. We picked up a set of 7 one-piece suits - one for each day of the week. Sooooooooooo cute! We also picked up this wee little stuffed duck that quacks. I'm sure we'll regret the quacking very quickly, but for now, it is very very very cute. :) Baby Gap had tons of other nice things that I would've loved to have bought, but it's hard to buy for PK when we don't know its sex yet. We'll only know that in another month, so we've gotta sit pretty until then. Here's a pic of PK's spoils:

Today I signed up for pre-natal classes - Yoga and aqua-aerobics. Between those classes and my weekly symphonic band practices, my schedule is looking pretty packed. Hopefully it doesn't tire me out too much. Hopefully taking these classes will put me a bit more at ease over the whole weight gain thing. It will also be nice to meet other expectant moms. I guess one of the hardest things for me right now is that I don't really have any pregnant friends, especially since most of my friends are guys, and their significant others are still in the girlfriend or fiancée status. So it's just little 'ole me. Sure, parents and in-laws can give all of the advice in the world, but it's nice to hang out with someone going through the same thing as you. Classes start next week, so hopefully that goes well!


Up until recently, I was proud to say that I'd had a pretty good handle on my emotions. Then I went shopping with my sister this past Saturday, and it all went to hell. It was a routine shopping trip, save for the fact that a couple of the items on my to-do list were baby-related. Item #1: I wanted to get a copy of The Pregnancy Bible, since it had been highly recommended to me by a friend. Besides, the other two books that I'd gotten a couple of months ago were a real snooze. Item #2: that same friend told me about the Bella Band, and that Motherhood Maternity carried its own knock-off version.

I guess it all started when I needed the washroom really badly. I swear my bladder must be the size of a pea at the rate that I've been going. I'd been needing to go for a while, but washrooms were nowhere nearby. We finally found a washroom near Indigo, and after using the facilities, I looked for a copy of The Pregnancy Bible. I guess this Indigo seemed to carry anything but books, so the search was a bust.

When we left the bookstore, our next stop was going to be one of the maternity stores. But as we neared the store, I just couldn't go in. I couldn't do it. At that moment, I just didn't want to be reminded of being pregnant. My sister was perplexed, and rightfully so. My behavior made no sense. One minute, I was fine, and the next, I was a wreck. I suddenly found myself fighting back tears. Usually I can keep the tears back, but not this time. They just flowed freely. What the hell was happening to me?

After I composed myself, my little breakdown started coming into focus. I guess all of my fears and anxieties had culminated into that one weird moment where I could not get a grip. I'd had a few things on my mind of late, but hadn't really expressed them to anyone. My concerns:

1. Body Image
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This getting fat business sucks. I hate it when I pass by a store with tons of cute clothes that I know I can't wear. I know that my state right now is a rather unique and privileged state, and I should not take it for granted.

2. Work
I started a new job 6 months ago, and things are finally starting to go my way. I'm in a new role where I'm finally getting to lead a team of developers, and just as things are starting to shape up, I'll have to go on maternity leave. I am torn between my career ambitions and the welfare of my unborn child. I sometimes resent PK for the timing of things, and I hate myself for thinking these thoughts. At the same time, PK was a planned child, and when you have to plan a kid and you get pregnant, the kid has to pop out eventually.

3. Ick Factor
Overall, I've just felt a perma-ick the whole time I've been pregnant. I haven't really been able to enjoy it because I'm always feeling sick in one form or another. Again, I resent Junior for making me feel this way, but I hate myself for thinking these thoughts. Again, this was a planned pregnancy, so I guess it all comes with the territory.

4. Fear
As much as I have my moments of resenting Junior, I also have my moments of extreme fear. Even though I'm past the first trimester and my chances of miscarriage have gone down dramatically, it still freaks me out that there is still a chance! And besides my fear of miscarrying, I also have a this fear that I have a dead baby growing inside of me. I know it's completely morbid, but that's the type of thing that's always in the back of my mind. It's freaking, and I consciously try not to think about it. Sub-consciously though, is another story.

Two days after my mini-breakdown, it still feels a bit surreal. I still can't believe that I lost control in that manner, and I have a feeling that there is more to come. Hopefully at least letting it out in the open and joining a class or two will help to alleviate some of this stress.

I would like to clarify that I do not in any way regret becoming pregnant. It is something that the hubby and I wanted. I guess it's just one of those things that seems relatively easy until you try it yourself.

Week 14

I guess by all accounts, I didn't really find Week 14 to be that eventful. Here are some highlights:

The Bad Bad Cold
I finally started recovering from that nasty cold - enough to venture into the office, even though I think I was still too germy to be around people. Let me tell you, 5 days locked up at home with nothing but your germs and phlegm to keep you company can make you stir-crazy!

Feeling Fat
Aside from that, as I've mentioned before, I'm definitely starting to look more pregnant. As of today, my tummy is protruding, though you can't really tell if I've got clothes on. Pants are definitely tighter. I even find it a bit awkward now when I bend over.

Prunes Are My Friends
I am eating way more prunes than I would care to admit. Unfortunately, they are a necessary evil. I've never liked them, and I never will, but at least I can eat them without my gag reflex kicking in. Bonus! I shall say no more.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Feeling Self-Conscious

I feel icky today. Not icky because I'm sick (which I still am) or because of morning sickness. It seems that between Wednesday night when I got home and Tuesday morning, when I finally made it to the office after battling a nasty cough and more phlegm than I care to remember, I gained some weight. It's not a huge amount, by any means. I don't think most people can tell looking by at me that I really gained weight, much less look pregnant. I can't tell for sure if I gained a huge amount, because I've refused to weigh myself ever since I found out I was pregnant.

That being said, I can tell that there has been weight gain. It sure crept up on me over the last few days. I didn't even notice it because I was stuck at home with this cough, and I wore yoga pants and a sweatshirt the entire time. Those clothes are definitely more forgiving than work clothes.

So imagine my shock on Tuesday morning when I put on my dress shirt and realize that the buttons looked like they were about to pop off. I still can't tell if it's a result of my bigger boobs or of a growing belly (I swear it's starting to jut out!), or a little bit of both. My pants were feeling a bit tight too, though not as bad because they were stretchy cords. Today's pants, however, were a tad tight.

I know that weight gain during pregnancy is a given. I've known that for a long time. But it's one thing to know about something, and another to experience. I'm not liking this part of the experience one bit. I've worked really hard over the last 7 years to keep my body in tip-top shape. I changed my diet, and I exercise regularly.

I still eat pretty well, and I still exercise regularly. I've been able to keep arm and back tone in spite of not being able to climb or do chin-ups. My abdomen is a different story. The growing waistline is not sitting well with me. Whenever I sit I can feel the blubber of my stomach. I'm probably overreacting, but that's how it feels.

Maybe I'll feel better once I get over this cold and can sign up for pre-natal exercise classes. Maybe seeing other expectant moms will ease this feeling of ick. But for now, I guess I'll have to suck it up and find a maternity store and get me some new clothes. Sigh...

Friday, February 1, 2008

Do you know I'm here?

Little PK, it has been a wild ride so far, and we still have 6 months to go! Along with putting me through the paces in December with morning sickness and extreme fatigue, I've also gotten sick 2x because of you. I'm still coughing up a lung, haven't really slept through the night, in 3 days, and can't take any medication to ease my symptoms. I guess I feel a little resentment.

While you have a nice restful slumber in my womb, developing new bodyparts and organs, I sit here on the outside, wondering how you're doing. Do you even know I'm here? Do you even know that we're sharing a body at this very moment?

Now that the morning sickness and fatigue are gone, I don't even know you're here. Nowadays I only know that you're taking up residence inside me when I get an ultrasound done. Oh, and my growing waistline and chest are minor indications that you're around too, I guess. I may hate the weight gain and the constant hunger pangs, but I guess they're a part of being pregnant.

I'm not mad that you're coming into this world. I'm more scared than anything. It's a life-altering experience, you know! Maybe someday if you have kids of your own, you will understand what that's like. Living for your dad and me alone just won't cut it anymore. We'll need to take care of you. And even when you're well into your 30s, we'll probably still feel somewhat protective of you. But don't worry, we'll try really really hard to not be overbearing parents.

I hope that the rest of our journey together in this body will be more pleasant. I'm sure that my getting sick doesn't tickle your fancy either. Perhaps you could give me a little immune boost? Bah...I guess that's out of your tiny little hands, isn't it? But do me a favor, will you? Maybe when you're big enough, perhaps you could give me a little nudge to let me know that you're okay?