Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Lay Off My Belly!

Now that I'm starting to really show - enough that my arsenal of maternity clothes has gone from 3 shirts and 2 tanktops to a whopping 7 shirts and 2 tanktops - people seem to think that I have a sign posted on my belly that says "Touch Me". WTF is up with that??? Before getting pregnant, my abdomen was completely uninteresting to the general public, and now, everyone seems to think that it's public property. Not cool.

I've read in my pregnancy books that this is a common occurrence, but I guess I didn't quite believe it until now. After all, IT MAKES NO SENSE. Unfortunately, I'm too shy to say "Stay the F! away from my belly, you creep!", so I just smile and laugh when they touch my belly. Obviously the wrong kind of feedback as it only encourages that type of behavior.

Here are some belly-touching deterrents that I've come up with thus far:
1. Post a big sign on my belly that says "Lay off!"
2. Slap anyone who touches my belly
3. Always walk around with my hands in front of me
4. Touch the toucher's abdomen if they touch mine
5. Spray the toucher with Lysol
6. Rub the toucher's head

How would you deal with this? Any suggestions are welcome!

4 comments:

Fawn said...

7. Politely say, "Please don't do that."

8. Develop a Zen philosophy and think about the joy you're bringing to the person's day.

9. A combination of all above-mentioned strategies, depending on the level of the offense and the level of acquaintance/strangerness.

It's amazing, isn't it, how irresistible you suddenly are? I remember only two instances of total strangers touching my belly; in one case, I found it a bit weird, in the other, the woman was so excited and happy, it made me happy, too. With friends or people I knew socially (even if we weren't close) it never bothered me.

I loved that while I was pregnant people on the street were more likely to smile at me, open doors for me, and were altogether more considerate than they likely normally would have been. It's the magic of carrying that little miracle in your body.

Fawn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fawn said...

Sorry for deleting the last comment - I didn't get the URL quite right...

I don't know what the dress code at your office is, but here's one solution:
Snarky shirt

Or how 'bout this:
"Please Don't Touch" t-shirt

Finally, some comic relief for you:
"Pregnancy t-shirt cartoon" t-shirt

IndyComp0T1 said...

LOL!!! I love the links you sent! I am sooooooooooo tempted to get the T-shirt in the first link. My office dress code is business-casual, unfortunately (no casual Fridays even), so I'd only be able to parade it around after work and on weekends. :P